Being Fucked Up
2001 10 mins
Perfect Nature World
I don't know, I don't know
I don't know, I don't know...
(continues throughout song)
Everything arches and
everything tumbles and
everything is flawless but
I am so flawed.
I don't know how to be a
Worthy citizen, a
Worthy companion in this
Perfect Nature World.
Everything blooms and
everything flutters down and
everything is awesome but
I am so odd.
And the branches bend down to kiss the
butter-coloured buttercups but
I have never been one of those
butter-coloured girls
And the cherry petals float and drift and
Bank against the curb,
and the streets are paved with blossoms in this
Perfect Nature World.
I don't know how to be a
Worthy citizen, a
Worthy companion in this
Perfect Nature World.
I don't know how to be a
Worthy citizen, a
Worthy companion in this
Perfect Nature World.
Strange Animal #1
Her soft breast. The sweet, warm milk. Her arms around me. I will punish her for making me wait!
Song For Pushkin
I'm gonna buy me a dog.
I'm gonna buy me a dog.
I'm gonna dress him up like a little boy
I'm gonna kiss his muzzle like a bundle of joy
I'm gonna build us a house on a little doggy patch
and we'll live there on love and whatever we can catch
a little dog...'m gonna comb out his hair like a little prince
I'm gonna tie him with a ribbon so tight it makes him wince
I'm going to do to that puppy all I want to do to you
And if some of that is violence,
Well some of it is gentleness too.
'm going to by me a dog,
I'm going to buy me a black and white puppy dog,
a black and white puppy dog,
A dog, I'm gonna buy me a dog.
Strange Animal #2
Oh I totally have a problem with people idolizing me. After the last time I was just like, “Okay, enough with the idolization”.
Yoga Practice
I am disgusting. I unselfconciously burp, then sigh on the bus, engrossed in my book. I want to remain cheerful in the face of this, but I find it very challenging. Yesterday, during deep relaxation at yoga, my yoga teacher played a Cat Stevens tape. He told us we were all children of God, and I thought, “God, if I am your daughter, you will stamp your giant foot through the acoustic tiles, and crush me, releasing me from any further obligation.”
Strange Animal #3
Everything I do in my search for satisfaction fails. Smoking pot makes me slow-witted. Ambition leads nowhere. He leaves me, he leaves me, he leaves me.
Monolgue for Robots
This ordinary life is hopeless. I have no mission or strong conviction.
It seems like everything I find beautiful is crying about this hopelessness, and the irreducibility of alone. I wish I was a pervert, with something inside me that burned, and could never be made manifest. My secrets are so boring.
I don't believe in art or socialism. I am bitterly jealous of people who are good, or successful. I think romantic passion is by nature fleeing. I lie to my mother. I hate myself.
People form misguided coalitions to protect themselves from hopelessness. They meet at coffee shops, community centres, swimming pools, hotels. Sometimes a fee is paid. Enthusiasm may infect some or all of the people, but inevitably, it falls away.I hate myself and pity the others for playing the hapless, expectant dog.
Our eyes follow the game that way, waiting for the triumph. Triumph does not come, or worse, it comes and goes, and disillusionment sets in again.
Strange Animal #4
Dog#1: "Holy shit, would you take a look at that mouth? I bet she gives fucking fabulous head!"
Dog#2: "God, he seems like a monster to me now. How did I not see it when we were in college?"
Headbangers
Would you describe yourself as a happy person?
Do you want to have a good time?
Are you going to have a good time?
Do you believe in the possibility of redemption?